Recently on “Wait, So is this a night out together?” we’re joined by Autostraddle President and
L Word
specialist
Riese Bernard
to go over: The Chart. That is right! This event is all about lesbian interconnectivity â setting up with buddies’ exes, buddies starting up with the help of our exes, while the society produced by what drama.
Arrive when it comes to gossip, stay for your mental control. And before that enjoy a casino game that assessments Christina’s boundaries: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she typically would not.)
Thanks a lot for all the great comments after the premiere! When you haven’t but consider providing us with a rating or examine!
PROGRAM NOTES
+ 5 years ago Riese developed an
Old Hollywood information
that is the intersection of all of the my personal interests.
+ Listed Here Is
the essay
I reference where We mention setting up with my roommates.
+ My crush from the week Mj Rodriguez released a songs video clip for her track
“something you should Say”
!
+ As someone who has just observed a small number of periods of
The Nanny
this montage
of Christina’s crush on the few days C.C. Babcock was actually shocking to me with regards to proved she and Niles are not both homosexual. (Christina informs me they basically nevertheless are.)
Drew:
I would personally be extremely okay with it existing. I might never ever add some other person without their particular authorization. However the idea of every time somebody was actually like, “make sure you will be attached to myself,” I would end up like, “Yeah, this is the life i have lived. I do not worry about.” Is weird? Usually an issue?
Christina:
No, because if I happened to ben’t, i’d feel terrible not-being. I would end up like, “Wait, I am not sleeping?”
Theme song plays
Drew:
Hi, I’m Drew.
Christina:
Hi, I’m Christina.
Drew:
And thank you for visiting
Hold Off, Is This A Date?
Christina:
Hold Off, Is It A Date?
is an Autostraddle podcast asking the top concerns. Firstly, would it be a night out together? Just what are dates? Who happen to be dates? Do we like dates? They are type questions that people answer on this subject right here incredibly pro and lovely podcast.
Drew:
I’m Drew Gregory. I’m an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, notoriously, a trans lesbian.
Christina:
I am Christina Tucker. I am additionally an author at Autostraddle. I will be a loud queer on the web. I’m improving at describing my self as an author and, famously, a lesbian. That’s you. That’s just who our company is.
Drew:
Yeah. And so our very own primary subject this week may be the Chart.
Christina:
I just believed it needed a sting. I don’t know. That believed really dramatic, but I think it required it.
Drew:
Yes. No, please, please, kindly. Thanks, thanks a lot. No, no, no. The correct level of drama.
Christina:
Thank you.
Drew:
Yeah. So we’re dealing with lesbian interconnectivity.
Christina:
I like that expression as it seems like you’ll want to restart the lesbians. It may sound just like the internet access actually functioning.
Drew:
Yes. it is very advanced, extremely innovative, but additionally has been around since there’s been lesbians, i believe.
Christina:
Yeah. I think scholars would say when they discovered the very first lesbian fossils, they found a chart alongside ones created inside sand. And that I think’s just what that film is all about, proper? It’s about the information? That movie with Kate Winslet and also the mud fossils?
Drew:
Ammonite?
Christina:
Yeah, that’s what it is more about.
Drew:
If only
Ammonite
involved cavern ladies. I’d watch that lesbian movie.
Christina:
Really, when I haven’t viewed it, I’m going to fearlessly declare that it absolutely was. Cool.
Drew:
Yeah. Because it’s like there is countless lesbian duration pieces, but we have never ever eliminated right back that much. And that I believe it’s the perfect time we perform.
Christina:
Let us just keep getting it more back in time.
Drew:
Before we become to the major subject, you are still getting to know all of us. And I also believed it will be enjoyable to play a-game where you men could truly get acquainted with Christina. Very our icebreaker because of this week is actually somewhat video game that we name “Would U-Haul.”
Christina:
I am, once more, so pressured about this. This may you need to be how i-come in to the online game. This might be my game mindset, a little high key, only a little stressed. Which is ok. All of us are understanding.
Drew:
I do believe which is great. In my opinion that push you to be more susceptible, perhaps.
Christina:
One of the best thoughts.
Drew:
Just a horror, simply a serious horror. Therefore, the method in which “Would U-Haul” works is i will describe a situation. Let’s call it Christina lover fiction. And I’m planning pause after every small area are love, “Okay, Christina, i understand you have never lived with a partner, don’t want to accept someone. But under these circumstances, would U-Haul?”
Christina:
And I also will either say yes or we’ll say, “i am ready.”
Drew:
If you do not â well, we’re going to see right here. But i am thrilled. In my opinion I’ve perhaps cracked the signal.
Christina:
You have damaged the rule? I’m thrilled.
Drew:
Let us see how very long this takes. While you won’t ever perform, i do believe you winnings? I’m not sure how discover champions right here.
Christina:
I’m not sure that we now have champions in online game of U-Hauling.
Drew:
Well, I’m not sure should you decide’ll agree with that next. Therefore I’m going to get going.
Christina:
Fair adequate.
Drew:
Okay. Very, Christina.
Christina:
Drew.
Drew:
You are at your buddy’s wedding ceremony. Regardless of the multitude of romcoms you soaked up, you did perhaps not go to this wedding ceremony considering you had meet any person because, well, this is simply not a romcom. This is basically the genuine and typical life of Christina Grace Tucker. You’re taking your designated chair and are usually glancing at the phone when you understand a woman at your table wants at you. She introduces herself as the pal’s previous baby-sitter. She actually is remained a buddy with the household, but she does not really know anybody there. She appears to be mid-forties and also a striking angular face. You set about chatting. She proposes to get you a glass or two. As soon as she rises, you realize she actually is six foot tall, 6â² 3â³ in heels. So that you know what? I’m merely planning hold on there and be like, at this stage, would U-Haul?
Christina:
I am intrigued. I’m captivated because I might get set as of this marriage. But yet I’m not U-Hauling anywhere.
Drew:
Cool. That is totally fair. Totally fair. Okay. And that means you spend the entire wedding ceremony learning each other. There’s simply an immediate spark and quick biochemistry. And indeed, you do get together as well as the sex is incredible.
Christina:
Tight.
Drew:
And therefore this wedding ceremony was at Northern California. Which means you both expand your own stays for three days to shag and explore and eat at restaurants and fuck. And you also provide to separate the price of the now shared space, but she laughs you off and is love, “Obviously perhaps not, honey.” Therefore the next 3 days tend to be magic. You feel the walls tumbling straight down. You are falling faster than you actually ever have actually. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Therefore just for clearness’s sake, I’m having a hard time imagining a world for which I got three shock times from try to hang out with someone I do perhaps not know. That looks bonkers. However if I did, good for me. But i am not really U-Hauling at this stage. It’s going to be a no.
Drew:
Great. Okay. Which is great. You simply came across. I have it. I get it. Okay.
Christina:
Thanks a lot so much.
Drew:
So she comes back to nyc and also you go back to Philadelphia.
Christina:
This is where I reside.
Drew:
And you’re texting constantly. That is where you live as well as being where this girl lives. And you are texting everyday while see one another multiple times four weeks. She is very hectic together with her task, but she is rapid purchase you a train pass to come see the girl and stay at her breathtaking brownstone in Fort Greene. Following half a year pass. And one night if you are out to meal, she requires you to definitely move around in together with her. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
And move to Nyc? I do not really love nyc. No, I am not moving in at the 6 months mark. I’m not undertaking that, no.
Drew:
Okay, okay. Completely, entirely, completely. Wow. Okay. You keep dating cross country. She realizes that you want some time and she is prepared to wait for you. A few more months pass. It is today already been over per year. Your landlord tells you that they’re selling your house to a developer that’s setting up condos, which means you are unable to renew it. You ought to get a hold of a unique spot. The today girlfriend tells you that no pressure, but her present nevertheless stands. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Okay. At this stage, i’d U-Haul for a few explanations.
Drew:
Yay! Okay. Please reveal.
datingwhilegay.com/discreet-gay-dating.html
Christina:
Mainly, in a global for which my property manager sold my house to build it, my personal landlord is currently my personal best friend, so as that appears like some thing has gone wrong within relationship. And that I should just leave Philadelphia in any event. Just in case I get to maneuver in with my gf over right here, that seems okay. Which is good. Entirely fine. But yeah, i believe I might need an external force like a mean property manager.
Drew:
Which is therefore â okay. I did so genuinely believe that you might should require housing attain indeed there, and so I’m grateful We understood that.
Christina:
Yeah. Which is precisely what must occur to me very first.
Drew:
Well, i am glad to know what it does take. Therefore theoretically, if you weren’t kicked away, how much longer?
Christina:
Seriously, that may have gone on for a long period. Philly and ny aren’t even that not even close to one another. I got space over here. We are moving backwards and forwards. We’re having happy times. I possibly could have try to let that roll for a long time until i assume Shoshana can become the worst person i am aware.
Drew:
I did not know that Shoshana possessed your property. Well, there you are going.
Christina:
There we go. Wow, that has been exciting.
Drew:
Well, thanks for playing.
Christina:
I’m pressured, becoming obvious.
Drew:
And I’m glad that i understand⦠possibly if you are actually, anytime anybody’s ever dating both you and wants that relocate, maybe the girlfriend told Shoshana to market the house with regard to the relationship.
Christina:
Genuinely the fastest means â some one would simply have to speak with Shoshana and stay like, “only kick their away.” After which she’d end up like, “Yeah, certain. Needless to say.” That would be how it took place, regardless if she did not promote the house. Some one would just be like, “are you able to merely kick the girl out so she’ll only get over it and move around in with me?” And she would state yes. Double she’d do this. That is what friendship is actually.
Drew:
I favor that.
Christina:
Yeah, that is actually breathtaking.
Drew:
Well, personally i think like we learned much about yourself.
Christina:
Many Thanks. I’m like I discovered a great deal about me, too. Risk of homelessness is truly the matter that helps to keep myself transferring any scenario, I guess. Wow.
Drew:
Well, that’s great.
Christina:
That was truly thrilling. I’m just as delighted to move into our very own main segment because In my opinion dealing with lesbian connection using this visitor, with this particular unique visitor, i do believe it will likely be incredible, Drew. Exactly how are you experiencing?
Drew:
I’m so excited. This is certainly an expert. By that, after all an
L Word
specialist, but additionally some a professional within the topic available.
Christina:
In my opinion a few things is generally real, my buddy. I believe a few things is generally true without a doubt. Will we would you like to introduce the visitor or can we want our very own guest introducing by themselves?
Drew:
I would love our very own visitor to introduce by herself.
Christina:
Guest.
Drew:
I shall say that our guest could be the only Riese Bernard.
Christina:
Guest, talk.
Riese:
Hi, I Am Riese. Plus its unusual to-be the guest!
Christina:
Yeah, it is.
Riese:
I experienced not to state something. I did not also do so. Used to do state situations. I’d to sit here calmly.
Christina:
And you had been actually brave. Along with your faces had been valued.
Riese:
Thanks a lot a whole lot.
Christina:
Though this really is obviously an audio average, i would like our listeners to know that Riese was producing some good response faces during “Would U-Haul.”
Riese:
Absolutely different ways getting heard. Do you know what i am talking about? That’s what i say. I am the President of Autostraddle.com. And I also’m also on an undefeated kickball group. And that is me personally. I have your dog called Carol. And I have actually outdated people.
Christina:
Congrats on kickball!
Riese:
Thank you so much. I’ve been involved in individuals.
Christina:
Great. Adoring that. That is fantastic to take to this, this here internet dating podcast. That is really good.
Riese:
Yeah. In my opinion that⦠Could There Be other things?
Drew:
No, i do believe that is fantastic, Riese.
Christina:
Whatever you want to share.
Riese:
I really like raspberries, the fresh fruit raspberries, and private pools.
Christina:
In Contrast toâ¦
Riese:
You Are Sure That when someone goes likeâ¦
Drew:
It’s like when you blow. Yeah.
Christina:
Oh. Those tend to be gross, so I merely exhausted them from my personal head.
Riese:
Yeah. And that’s all.
Christina:
Great.
Drew:
Well, I instantly considered you with this topic.
Christina:
That’s true.
Drew:
Because to begin with, clearly, queer females and non-binary people in lesbian community are like, I am not sure, having sexual intercourse with others who their friends had sex with since long before
The L Keyword
ended up being previously a set. But i really do feel just like
The L Term
solidified a particular social idea of the information with Alice Pieszecki. Therefore I decided you’ll have a lot of insight into this topic.
Riese:
It’s genuine. Two of the authors, I would like to state, of
The L Word
had this real chart of those as well as their pals they were attracting regarding wall structure or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, i do believe, ended up being one of them. She chatted to united states about any of it, they had developed this. Because certainly, everyone because author’s space had fucked people into the copywriter â you know, while the prolonged internet of the generation of lesbians in l . a .. And in addition they watched can these people were like, “Why don’t we place it into the tv show.” Many of those are on the chart. Like, one particular which ⦠like, genuine everyone is in the data as bull crap.
Christina:
Which is wonderful. Which is the manner in which you understand you have made it.
Riese:
Isn’t that adorable?
Christina:
That would be fascinating in my situation.
Riese:
So for those who haven’t observed
The L Term,
to start with, congrats. Second of all, it will become the centerpiece of 1 of our direct personality, Alice’s, apartment. She has everything over the woman wall surface. Looked after will be the name of an internet site which they began called ourchart.com that flopped. Additionally the concept ⦠and it’s really within the pilot, In my opinion. Inside the initial occurrence, Alice starts making reference to exactly how every person’s connected, because everybody’s hooked up with this specific individual. And I can link you, like you’re probably at the most two levels far from myself. And this was correct. Like, even with Dana, that has not a lot of knowledge because she was actually a closeted playing tennis player, they nevertheless could actually connect the lady. And that’s actuality because it’s real.
Christina:
Which is society. Yeah. That’s what culture appears like.
Riese:
That is society. That’s queer tradition immediately. Nowadays everyone helps make unique charts.
Christina:
Yeah. To make certain that would be my personal next concern, had been have either people made a chart? Because I really don’t believe We have, and I am type today thinking like, that which was this this past year resting within my home for if I did not generate a chart? Like, that was the point of that, actually?
Riese:
In my opinion i have done it in my journal, as like ⦠Because i love, I’m not sure, planning details, I guess, as a thought workout.
Christina:
Yeah, In my opinion that is also exactly why Im amazed that You will findn’t done it. I really like the idea of categorizing circumstances.
Riese:
Right. Yeah. Because it is fascinating. I don’t know exactly why it’s thus fascinating, however it is. Its fascinating is like, wow, each one of these men and women, they are connected. It’s wild.
Drew:
On the program, as soon as ourchart.com is created, they will have an actual data that people can also add material. And I also feel just like something that you joked about on
To L and Back,
and then folks say everyday is similar to, if this existed in a real means, not one person would put their own brands about it, not one person would feel safe placing their names upon it.
Riese:
You might.
Drew:
I might. I’d be really fine with it existing. I’d never ever include someone else without their unique authorization. Although notion of like, each time some body was like, “Confirm that you may be linked to me,” I’d end up like, “Yeah, it is the life I lived. I really don’t mind.” Is odd? Is that problems?
Christina:
No, because if I wasn’t, I would personally feel bad not being ⦠i’d wind up as, “hold off, I’m not upon it? Like, i am sorry, exactly what?” No, that will actually deliver me personally into a light ethical anxiety about exactly who Im as individuals, what I’m performing. Was I interesting? Would individuals {like